A Little Parenthesis

Hi. I'm Kate - not Katie. Just Kate. Today I started my first day of classes for my sophomore year in college, and I've decided to start a blog. I've started a few blogs like this before, and I'm too embarrassed by how many tumblr accounts I have, but this one is going to be a Real Blog. One that I hold myself accountable for and ask others to read. This is a little terrifying for me, so bare with me.

Currently, I'm an English major, but I change my mind daily. Sometimes I want to be a lawyer, other days I think I'd make a great professor or principal for an all-girls school. When I look at the half-working door knobs in my old apartment I even consider flipping houses. More often, though, I can see myself writing and creating for the rest of my life, even if that means I'll never own a yacht or a penthouse in Manhattan.

I'm living in Chicago and I go to DePaul University - a private, Catholic and amazing school. Last year, my first year in college, was a roller coaster like everyone else's. I spent a lot of time napping in my bed and freezing my face off on the walks to class, but I also spent a lot of time growing, becoming more myself and meeting new people. This year, I hope to do more of latter.

For me, sophomore year is a year full of goals. I'm the kind of person who makes to-do lists, starts blogs, and comes up with a million different ways to portray myself - but I'm also the kind of person who lets the lists sit there, never shows anyone the blog, and ultimately can't decide how I want the world to see me. So I guess this year is a year to finally decide.

My biggest challenge this year I know will be coming out of my shell. I think everyone comes to a point in their life where they feel this same kind of calling, and it can be overwhelming. In high school a lot of my friends were the ones I always had. In classes where I didn't know anybody, I never really reached out. I would sit and usually just be crabby about the fact that I had to wake up at 5am. I only recently realized how quiet I've always been. Even after starting college, I still had that very closed-off mindset. This summer I looked back on all the opportunities I had to start a conversation with someone, but instead I checked Facebook or sat quietly, wondering if someone else would do the talking.

We all know the sinking feeling when a professor offers some kind of ice breaker, or tells you to get into groups of two or three to discuss something vaguely related to the class. In so many instances, I've been stuck waiting for someone else to really break the ice. Or we'll give a quick response to the prompt and then sit silently. It has taken me a long time to realize that all these encounters need is a, "Hi, I'm Kate." Then you do the discussion, then you start asking about majors or questions about the class and suddenly your college campus doesn't seem so big and you don't feel so crabby.

This blog will be a place for me to find my voice in writing, and to figure out and share everything I want to get out of my sophomore year. So, this is how you start. You introduce yourself, you ask questions, you start the conversation. In tandem with my favorite Paulo Coelho quote, "We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”