Beginnings of school years are usually tough on everybody. For college students who have just moved out of their childhood home, the transition can be especially overwhelming. Not only does the end of a carefree summer and the beginning of a new academic quarter bring its own stresses, but so do plenty of other things in life. Everyday people go through breakups, bad days, fights with friends, family problems, big changes and stressors that can accumulate to be almost too much for someone to handle.
I'm currently going through a rough patch in my life with a lot of uncertainties and worries, and it's teaching me a lot about myself and about the people in my life. I'm learning who will always be on the other end of the phone when I call (my mom, unconditionally), but I'm also learning that there is really only one person who will always be there for me - myself. Recently I've been told to do some "extreme self-care" and I think at some point, everybody needs to do the same.
In all periods of stress, it's important to be kind to yourself. Last week I celebrated my 20th birthday and I got to see my family, friends and boyfriend even though that meant I missed out on some things. There were workshops and new club meetings that I didn't get to go to, and I missed a shift of work with some really amazing people. But looking back on last week, I don't know if I would have been able to give my all at the auditions and meetings I considered going to. So instead, I went out to eat with the people I love and I spent a lot of time cuddled up in a blanket watching The Office. Prime examples of the kind of mental health self care that everyone needs - little breaks from reality.
There are other ways to foster your mental health though, specifically through being kind to yourself. On my birthday I got myself a pumpkin spice frappuccino and got my nails done. If you have people in your life who shower you in love and gifts, you're very lucky. But most of the time it's just you, and you have to learn to give yourself love and gifts sometimes. When you think about it, you spend maybe a couple of hours celebrating your birthday with other people, but most of the day is dedicated to doing the kinds of things you do everyday, so it's up to you to make the mundane special. Even when it's not your birthday, giving yourself things to look forward to can make a lame day a good one.
And when you think about all the birthday's and lame days and good days you're going to live through, the only person you can count on to be there is you. It's important to make sure you like yourself if you're going to be spending so much time with yourself. In my opinion, it's not that hard to change things up. I'm constantly changing my hair style, my wardrobe, my makeup and even my interests. I think it's all an attempt to become more myself, rather than changing it altogether. Just because you've always been a certain way doesn't mean you always have to be that certain way. Maybe you'll dye your hair pink, or start playing video games. Audition for something you think would be cool to be in, or throw out the clothes you got when you were 14 but still fit somehow. If there's something that you've always kind of wanted to do, or something you think you'd maybe be good at, why aren't you doing it? Being yourself is a form of self-care, too.
I've ended my teenage years with a better sense of self and what it means to be deeply happy. I'm still learning who I am and who I want to be, but I'm making strides everyday to be that girl. I think I've become a lot more understanding, and a lot more comfortable in my own skin. Kyoko Escamilla says, "Your 20's are your 'selfish' years. It's a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all aspects of you. Tinker, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground." So, be a little selfish and treat yourself. If you don't, who will?
Monday, September 21, 2015
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
A Little Parenthesis
Hi. I'm Kate - not Katie. Just Kate. Today I started my first day of classes for my sophomore year in college, and I've decided to start a blog. I've started a few blogs like this before, and I'm too embarrassed by how many tumblr accounts I have, but this one is going to be a Real Blog. One that I hold myself accountable for and ask others to read. This is a little terrifying for me, so bare with me.
Currently, I'm an English major, but I change my mind daily. Sometimes I want to be a lawyer, other days I think I'd make a great professor or principal for an all-girls school. When I look at the half-working door knobs in my old apartment I even consider flipping houses. More often, though, I can see myself writing and creating for the rest of my life, even if that means I'll never own a yacht or a penthouse in Manhattan.
I'm living in Chicago and I go to DePaul University - a private, Catholic and amazing school. Last year, my first year in college, was a roller coaster like everyone else's. I spent a lot of time napping in my bed and freezing my face off on the walks to class, but I also spent a lot of time growing, becoming more myself and meeting new people. This year, I hope to do more of latter.
For me, sophomore year is a year full of goals. I'm the kind of person who makes to-do lists, starts blogs, and comes up with a million different ways to portray myself - but I'm also the kind of person who lets the lists sit there, never shows anyone the blog, and ultimately can't decide how I want the world to see me. So I guess this year is a year to finally decide.
My biggest challenge this year I know will be coming out of my shell. I think everyone comes to a point in their life where they feel this same kind of calling, and it can be overwhelming. In high school a lot of my friends were the ones I always had. In classes where I didn't know anybody, I never really reached out. I would sit and usually just be crabby about the fact that I had to wake up at 5am. I only recently realized how quiet I've always been. Even after starting college, I still had that very closed-off mindset. This summer I looked back on all the opportunities I had to start a conversation with someone, but instead I checked Facebook or sat quietly, wondering if someone else would do the talking.
We all know the sinking feeling when a professor offers some kind of ice breaker, or tells you to get into groups of two or three to discuss something vaguely related to the class. In so many instances, I've been stuck waiting for someone else to really break the ice. Or we'll give a quick response to the prompt and then sit silently. It has taken me a long time to realize that all these encounters need is a, "Hi, I'm Kate." Then you do the discussion, then you start asking about majors or questions about the class and suddenly your college campus doesn't seem so big and you don't feel so crabby.
This blog will be a place for me to find my voice in writing, and to figure out and share everything I want to get out of my sophomore year. So, this is how you start. You introduce yourself, you ask questions, you start the conversation. In tandem with my favorite Paulo Coelho quote, "We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”
Currently, I'm an English major, but I change my mind daily. Sometimes I want to be a lawyer, other days I think I'd make a great professor or principal for an all-girls school. When I look at the half-working door knobs in my old apartment I even consider flipping houses. More often, though, I can see myself writing and creating for the rest of my life, even if that means I'll never own a yacht or a penthouse in Manhattan.
I'm living in Chicago and I go to DePaul University - a private, Catholic and amazing school. Last year, my first year in college, was a roller coaster like everyone else's. I spent a lot of time napping in my bed and freezing my face off on the walks to class, but I also spent a lot of time growing, becoming more myself and meeting new people. This year, I hope to do more of latter.
For me, sophomore year is a year full of goals. I'm the kind of person who makes to-do lists, starts blogs, and comes up with a million different ways to portray myself - but I'm also the kind of person who lets the lists sit there, never shows anyone the blog, and ultimately can't decide how I want the world to see me. So I guess this year is a year to finally decide.
My biggest challenge this year I know will be coming out of my shell. I think everyone comes to a point in their life where they feel this same kind of calling, and it can be overwhelming. In high school a lot of my friends were the ones I always had. In classes where I didn't know anybody, I never really reached out. I would sit and usually just be crabby about the fact that I had to wake up at 5am. I only recently realized how quiet I've always been. Even after starting college, I still had that very closed-off mindset. This summer I looked back on all the opportunities I had to start a conversation with someone, but instead I checked Facebook or sat quietly, wondering if someone else would do the talking.
We all know the sinking feeling when a professor offers some kind of ice breaker, or tells you to get into groups of two or three to discuss something vaguely related to the class. In so many instances, I've been stuck waiting for someone else to really break the ice. Or we'll give a quick response to the prompt and then sit silently. It has taken me a long time to realize that all these encounters need is a, "Hi, I'm Kate." Then you do the discussion, then you start asking about majors or questions about the class and suddenly your college campus doesn't seem so big and you don't feel so crabby.
This blog will be a place for me to find my voice in writing, and to figure out and share everything I want to get out of my sophomore year. So, this is how you start. You introduce yourself, you ask questions, you start the conversation. In tandem with my favorite Paulo Coelho quote, "We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”
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